My new pattern of behavior

The girl I love in high school is getting married. If this is not complicated enough, then listen to this: she wants me to give a speech on her wedding day.

We have known each other since we were eleven years old and we were classmates for seven years in Indonesia. In elementary school, she was a girl you wouldn't have a second glimpse. But in junior high school, she suddenly became so gorgeous that almost every boy in the class wanted to be her boyfriend, and I was not an exception.

I knew I liked her because of her look, not her personality or character. Maybe this was the reason why I never pursued her, for I realize that I was just blinded by her appearance. However, after 1998 anti-Chinese incident in Indonesia, most of our classmates went back to Taiwan, and only three of us--including a girl who was my "shadow"--left.

During these three years in high school with mostly three students in class, I got the chance to really look into her thoughts. She has a pure and unblemished mind. I usually said she was foolish, but what's underlied beneath was her conviction that all human are good and we should do our best to be a great person. I was deeply attracted by her childlike mind.

Now, she is going to get married, while I also have a beloved girlfriend. Knowing each other for such a long time, I find it's hard to accept her new role as a wife or a mother. Of course, wedding provides a ritual for her to change from one role to another, and we are all happy to attend this great ceremony. But giving a speech in front of her parents, relatives, friends, husband, friends of her family, friends of her husband, and all the other people that you would never think of makes me faint.

In No Sense of Place, Joshua Meyrowitz points out that the combiation of many different audiences (such as wedding) will create a new social situation that people would need to change the patterns of role behavior. What I want to say to her as a friend on the wedding might embarrass her family or husband, and what I can say to her parents and relatives might be too sloppy or boring for her. Maybe I should see the movie Wedding Crashers again.